Infest

I had plans to spend a nice rainy afternoon of writing at one of my fav coffee shops the other day. Expectations aside, you make what you can out of it. And what I chose to do instead of getting annoyed to the point of leaving, I turned it into this. Writing can be therapeutic at times.

This quiet, slightly disorganized (by Japanese standards) coffee shop with a hint of funkiness appeals to a host of patrons including families, mothers (for afternoon lunching), writers and others. What I have never seen before are businessmen. The nearby Starbucks is where they infest—and one reason why I steer clear.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against businessmen, I used to be one. What I don’t appreciate is their commitment to the role. Many exude a level of self-importance that invades the air like someone just took a dump and left the door wide open.

As part of my routine, after settling in at the table and before I begin to write I look around and observe the cast of characters; a table of four mothers discussing some sort of part-time business plan; a couple that looked like they were on a lunch date; an office lady (OL they’re called) eating alone. The feeling was peaceful and conducive to writing and another reason why I frequent this place.

Just as my fingers began to dance across the keyboard while riding a wave of inspiration, all of a sudden a pair of businessmen walked in with their traditional black suited garb, one wearing a red tie the other blue and topped off with each wearing a pair of black matching patent leather shoes.

Of course with all the tables to choose from they chose the one right next to me. In unison they unpacked their briefcases opened up their laptops. So well choreographed I thought next they would break out in song. As they began to “work,” I suddenly got that whiff of self-importance. If you don’t know, in Japan it reeks of cheap, nose hair curling cologne mixed with the previous nights alcohol and cheap ramen emanating from their pores.

I gagged.

Unable to read the air (kuuki yomeru in Japanese. If you don’t know, go here) that this is a quiet place where we keep our conversations muted, these two, even with my noise canceling earphones I couldn’t drown out the blue tied businessman’s incessant speaking on the phone and the red one’s smacking of his laptop computer keyboard. Smack, I am, smack, so, smack, important. Smack, can’t you tell, smack, by the way, smack, I type?

Loud and obnoxious, I am 100% sure everyone else felt the same way. I thought about being the hero by telling them in English, “You took a wrong turn. This is not the place for you. Starbucks is that way.” Instead, I opted to send out a vibe of annoyance hoping the universe would pass the message on and they’d leave.

They didn’t.

Even as the blue tied one walked to and from the bathroom he caused a ruckus. Every movement was as if life depended on it. I wonder if they realize that they are businessmen and not saving the world. In fact, chances are the company they work for may be ruining it.

I know you are suppose to love thy neighbor, but it’s hard sometimes. My greatest fear, if nothing is done that word will get out and every businessman from miles around like an infestation will descend upon this quaint coffee shop.

Meanwhile, the red tied one is speaking on the phone, but I am now less annoyed after having written this.

They are as we all are, playing a role and going about their business like it’s the most important thing in the world.

Even though it ain’t.

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